Robert Rodriguez’s latest cinematic masterpiece, Machete, pushes the limits of mainstream audiences and seasoned actors. Helping Rodriguez’s vision come to life took complete trust, but the commitments made by the actors paid off. The premise is simple, Machete (Danny Trejo), an ex-federale, has been betrayed by the organization who hired him who coincidentally takes orders from Mexican cartel heavy-hitter Torrez (Steven Seagal). The bad blood between Torrez and Machete runs deep, ultimately becoming the driving force in Machete’s search for peace or as what I would describe it- vigilante justice. Leaving behind his life in Mexico, Machete comes to the United States where he meets Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), the architect behind an illegal immigration “network” that helps immigrants find work.
There’s no shortage of blood, severed body parts, nudity or sex in this film. When combined, it all adds up to a kick-ass experience, fitting of a Robert Rodriguez story. If you were disappointed by “Predators”, Machete more than makes up for any shortcomings. Danny Trejo delivers the perfect amount of grit and confidence to slice and dice adversaries before returning to the bedroom with Hollywood’s sexiest starlets. As is to be expected, Robert De Niro performed like a well oiled machine, playing the role of Texas Senator McLaughlin, the voice behind America’s crackdown on illegal immigration.
For me personally I found the surprise performance to be that of none other than Lt. Stillman, played by Don Johnson. Not since the days of Miami Vice have I been enticed to see the actor’s work, but I can’t help but think that Johnson’s time with Cheech Marin on “Nash Bridges” helped him land this role. If that was the case, this would be the first time that I am thankful the show lasted 6 seasons. While Don Johnson’s performance was one of my favorite, it must be made clear that everyone involved in the film rendered services above and beyond the call of duty- yes, even Lindsay Lohan. Whether Lohan will regret her decision to appear in the film now that she’s completed her rehabilitation remains to be seen, but speaking for myself and probably most men, we’re glad she obliged.
At the end of the day, Machete is every bit entertaining and stimulating as one could hope. Men will walk away almost realizing fantasies they’ve had of Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan and Michelle Rodriguez while women will be lining up for a night of pillow talk with Danny Trejo. Whatever the case may be, both will return home satisfied, as was I when I left the theater. If you are looking for the perfect blend of action, comedy and sex to get you through the end of Summer, put Machete on your short list of films to watch.
GMR Blog Rating: 8/10
